Belly at Large: the Perfect Facebook Profile Picture

Hello humans,

First of all, am I handsome or what?
"Look into my eyes, you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there, you'll search no mo'..."
So yeah, I just quoted Bryan Adams, so what? Can you guess the name of the song? (If not, click here! Yes, I'm giving you an easy way out.) After you're done drooling to the old skool music, let's get back to our main topic of the day, shall we? We need to talk about how to have the perfect profile picture on Facebook.

I know, life is hard. It's hard out there for a cat. Whatever. But a perfect Facebook profile picture can be done. If I had a Facebook account, I would totally use that picture as my profile pix after turning it 90 degrees to the left, of course. I mean, what's wrong with it? I looked gorgeous in the photo!

But again, la mamarazzi is a somewhat decent photographer on a good day. One day, she is going to be the Anne Geddes-slash-Annie Leibovitz of the kitty photography world. But I guess she needs to change her first name to Ann/Anne/Annie first, now that I see the correlation.

Again, I digressed. Let's meet after the jump to discuss about the perfect Facebook profile picture, shall we?

"How to get the perfect Facebook profile picture" is a hard knocked question. The profile picture is a reflection of you to the world. Most times, humans put horrendous pictures of themselves on social websites and it's a shame. I know you don't have la mamarazzi to take pictures of you but still, some of the profile pix are downright horrible.
To get a decent picture, you need a decent lightning, a good camera and a human with opposable thumbs to operate it, and yourself. Stand straight, look attentively at the camera, and smile (with your eyes or with your mouth, it doesn't matter. Just smile!) Take as many pictures as you can before selecting the very best as your profile picture.
Yes, it's that simple. Why some humans fail to do it, I don't understand. I guess humans are more interested in the don'ts than the dos, so I'm going to do some reverse psychology and give you a don't list:

  1. Don't act crazy: unless you keep the profile private and don't add any friends, people are going to see you. Why making them think you are crazy? Therefore, no poses with crossed eyes or tongue sticking out. No, just no.
  2. Don't wear too much jewelry, unless you are the Queen of England: What? The Queen can drip in diamonds because she lives in a castle with body guards surround her. Unless you have the same level of security, you shouldn't flaunt your wealth online. People can rob you, you know. 
  3. Don't turn your back to the camera, especially when you face a water body AND you are a dude: like, srsly, just picture it in your head and you'll realize how wrong it looks. (Clue: it looks like you're doing number 1 to the water body. Yuck!)
  4. Wear clothes, meow it!
This picture perfectly illustrates point 3 and 4. Don't do it. Just don't.
That's all the tips I have. Now, pay up! My 2 cents aren't free! I need my Meow Mix, yo!

Here are some pix that didn't make the cut:

Fish eye effect makes me look like a wombat.
No, no, no, no, don't funk with my face!
McDreamy went waaay wrong, huh!
I actually love this pix but la mamarazzi said it doesn't reflect my full potential *pout*
That's all for now, kittens! Have a wonderful day, ok?

Love, peace, and tuna fish,
Mr. Belly

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